for me its like this......
i am bi-racial, hispanic and white. technically, bloodwise i am maybe.... 1/8th hispanic.... but my appearance is hispanic, although that depends on who you ask. blacks tend to see a white boy, whites see a mexican, and mexicans only see a mexican if they need someone who speaks spanish... other then that, im an over americanized white boy to them too.
its lonely itting on that fence. i dont relate to anybody. i dont have the identity that comes with aa races culture, language, traditions, etc.... to some people that isnt a big deal, but it is for me.... i have never been accepted by either group. too white for the brown people, to brown for the white people. go figure. its lonely, and at times hurtful because you experience aspects of racism from all sides- it aint like i can ban together with "my" people, cause i dont have them.
my mom went through it like i did. she looks black to some people, she looks haitian/dominican, etc... so blacks would fuck with her growing up, whites would fuck with her growing up, her siblings even.... cause she got that nappy, wirey hair.... and to this day i love that hair... i dont get that "good hair" nonsense..... i love that.... but i dont even look like my mother.... if you have ever heard "black girl pain" by talib kweli, well that was my mom growing up- but she isnt even black. go figure.
however....
everything that comes with race.... on both sides.... man its amazing.... whites will say things about blacks/asians/hispanics that they wont ay to them.... blacks/hispanics will say things about whites.... because at any given time, i AM either "one of them" or "different from the rest" depending on who i am speaking to.... so i am essentially one "race" from one situation to the next. i am either white or hispanic depending on that persons perspective, and thus i am always playing the part on the proverbial stage- though it isnt me playing, its more or ess people assigning the role to me.
i see a lot of things by being this way that i couldnt/wouldnt see otherwise.... i know the struggle of melanin rich skin. i know the benifits of being of fair complexion. how does that work? i have a unique perspective and while i tend to get teh worst end of each, i also get to see the malice and innocence of each side as well.
a lot of whites dont realize when they are downing another race, truthfully, they cant see how they have a racial perspective. a lot of blacks and hispanics are the same exact way, towards whites. there is a lack of understanding and an abundance of preconcieved notions that we ALL have towards other races. all of us. some of it is justified and innocent, other times its malicious even if unintended.
blacks like fried chicken. blacks are loud, talkative peeople. chances are a 45 year old black woman is either the most caring, giving person you know. she opens her home to just about anyone who needs one....but she is also quick to bust that ass at chucky cheese if you get out of line. at least, thats the people in the house i live in currently, and the people i grew up knowing have been around in general.
mexican men are macho chauvenists. they love coronas and soccer..... a lot are hard working lower to middle class people. chances are, an old mexican woman is the absolute most judgmental person you will ever meet. she also loves her grand kids like no other race i have known. at least, these are the people i know.
philipino/asian women, middle aged? they will let a 15 year old runaway crash at their home, cook up a storm, sleep in the room with their daughter- trusting him and their child to the utmost. she wil send that kid away with a grip of food and gifts for the 5 siblings she has never met. she will always welcome him when he shows up unannounced at 10 pm. her home has an odd odor though.... but, thats just the family i know.
whites.... middle aged working class white men work hard, balance work/family/church/social life pretty well, but one is always at the low end of the totem pole. they tend to be resentful of welfare, free school programs, etc- because they worked hard to get where they are, they feel everyone else should too. they dont ever get why these things exist, they have such a hard time with it. they just dont get it. they also support their whole family, their kids own cars paid for by themselves, though those kids arent getting a free ride- they have to pay the note, but insurance is free till they graduate. these people worked 2-3 jobs ar various points, they worked hard and have been at work for 10 years on the same job..... .
each of these examples also have resentments and negative feelings/misunderstood stereotypes about people outside their own race...
and you know, i have grown up around people who were teh exact opposite of these good examples....
i dont think i would have been so privy to some of the innder thoughts and workings were it not for that racial ambiguity. some people i love dearly have some things i seriously disagree with, some ugly underlying thoughts i dont care for.... but that ambiguous nature allows them to open themselves up in a way they wouldnt otherwise. on all sides of the coin.
if you ask me..... thats a valuable thing to have, and my curse has been a great benifit in many situations. i understand feelings and thoughts that, while i may not agree with, i can honestly get the reasoning people have for thinking the way they do. thats partly do to the fact that since i dont have "my own" people, and having been rejected at large by each sect of people, the few who did accept me took me for their own.
i for one am thankful for that.