God
Creator of the Universe
ill o.g.
Hi everybody. I figured I would slap you again with a dose of reality, especially the cats looking for record deals.
Your odds are increased exponentially when you find an investor. By "investor" I don't mean a dumbass that just gives you money and lets your artistic/unbusiness self run the show. By investor I mean-- let's take an example:
There's a mute rapper, his name is M.C. Helen Keller. He clicks to a beat, the sound is hot-- run it through some autotune, it could be something good. M.C. Helen Keller drops a couple albums and seems ok-- he has a couple good songs "Hear the Click of My Clip as You Die" and "Click Licking the Clit" are club BANGERS. There's some buzz on the street. Shit-- the cat can't speak and he's "rapping."
Some dumbass local "manager" cons M.C. Helen Keller and his producer, DJ PeeWeeHerman to "represent" them. This manager wears the latest "Roc-A-Wear" and "Sean John" attire-- occasionally sports a "Grays" jersey. He has a couple radio contacts, puts M.C. Helen Keller on the local MC spotlight and maybe a couple local concerts. Oh shit! They're gonna get signed.
Dumbass manager who is a cocky "former" street-hustler now sees it as a time to parlay this "momentum" into a deal. He calls up some low level A&R cat at "Continent" Records he met while "networking" at a local radio promoted "afterparty."
The A&R cat is low level, can't do shit hears the songs, thinks they're hot, but won't stick out his neck because he "just signed two great acts" and signed 5 shitty ones. He can't fuck up his figures for the year-- with the music biz, what the fuck is he gonna do?
He tells the manager that he needs to set up a showcase somewhere in LA. So the manager sets up the showcase at a local club owned by a friend of a friend who cuts him a deal. He puts a couple signs on the walls, pics of M.C. Helen Keller and thinks he's a fucking genius. He also puts a huge amount of money into free bar (good idea) for the cats at the showcase. A couple reps show up, and they pass on M.C. Helen Keller.
The manager says to the MC and DJ - "Man, we'll keep trying. We'll keep trying."
Ah!
One of the reps was a guy named Satan. He's a friend of an A&R rep at Continental and thinks that a mute rapper could make a shitload of money. But he keeps thinking, "that cocky manager who thinks he's the shit is a real dumbass. I could've got these assholes signed PLUS incentives."
The manager starts to hustle Satan lying that the group is being courted by labels, etc. Satan tells the manager the following:
"My name is Satan, I used to manage every major act. How about you let me into this situation, and I offer you a back-end finder's fee plus percentage?"
Manager is cocky as fuck, talks shit about how it's his act, blah, blah, blah. Satan responds:
"Look, before you parade this act around and have them blown out because you don't know how to contact the right people and do the right showcase, it's not my fault. You're only hurting yourself."
Usually, a manager will think that his act has value and is at an advantage. The manager will fuck up the situation. So let's say that Satan just says "fuck it-- manager, I'll buy you out for 30K."
The manager accepts and tells M.C. Helen Keller that Satan wants to manage them-- hypes them up to Satan, etc.
Then Satan gets on his BlackBerry and books the ballroom at Atlantis in the Bahamas. He blocks off a several suites. He tells the Atlantis that he needs everything catered from Friday thru Monday. He also makes sure to block off 1st class tickets for the time frame. "Models" I mean hookers, etc., ready too. (I don't condone any of this -- this is a hypothetical story DO NOT DO THIS EVEN IF YOU CAN.)
Satan's in the negative already. He just dumped a shitload of money. Then -- Satan starts emailing the reps/execs he knows. What do they think?
"Free vacation in the Bahamas just to check out a band? Shit!"
M.C. Helen Keller goes to the Bahamas. A TON of execs and reps show up (I wonder why-- because they're being treated like they're special, not like they're being USED by Satan to get a deal.)
In return, Satan gets a record contract for the mute rapper from one of the execs-- after a small "bidding" war ensues.
"Shit-- Satan's awesome, he had the showcase in the Bahamas-- there were hot women there, and the fucking hotel was great."
"Man, you should have seen this cat M.C. Helen Keller-- fucking awesome, and it was in the Bahamas! WTF!"
You get the idea.
Most cats in the "industry" hate being "used." Sure they want to make a buck off you, but they want to feel "special" because of the position they're afforded. Is that right? Technically NO. But wake the fuck up. What I outlined for you DOES HAPPEN. REALIZE THE COMPETITION, adjust, find an investor-- someone willing to believe in you and put the right money in a calculated attempt to sign you.
(I DO NOT CONDONE ANY OF THIS -- IF YOU HAVE QUESTIONS, HIRE A LAWYER.)
Your odds are increased exponentially when you find an investor. By "investor" I don't mean a dumbass that just gives you money and lets your artistic/unbusiness self run the show. By investor I mean-- let's take an example:
There's a mute rapper, his name is M.C. Helen Keller. He clicks to a beat, the sound is hot-- run it through some autotune, it could be something good. M.C. Helen Keller drops a couple albums and seems ok-- he has a couple good songs "Hear the Click of My Clip as You Die" and "Click Licking the Clit" are club BANGERS. There's some buzz on the street. Shit-- the cat can't speak and he's "rapping."
Some dumbass local "manager" cons M.C. Helen Keller and his producer, DJ PeeWeeHerman to "represent" them. This manager wears the latest "Roc-A-Wear" and "Sean John" attire-- occasionally sports a "Grays" jersey. He has a couple radio contacts, puts M.C. Helen Keller on the local MC spotlight and maybe a couple local concerts. Oh shit! They're gonna get signed.
Dumbass manager who is a cocky "former" street-hustler now sees it as a time to parlay this "momentum" into a deal. He calls up some low level A&R cat at "Continent" Records he met while "networking" at a local radio promoted "afterparty."
The A&R cat is low level, can't do shit hears the songs, thinks they're hot, but won't stick out his neck because he "just signed two great acts" and signed 5 shitty ones. He can't fuck up his figures for the year-- with the music biz, what the fuck is he gonna do?
He tells the manager that he needs to set up a showcase somewhere in LA. So the manager sets up the showcase at a local club owned by a friend of a friend who cuts him a deal. He puts a couple signs on the walls, pics of M.C. Helen Keller and thinks he's a fucking genius. He also puts a huge amount of money into free bar (good idea) for the cats at the showcase. A couple reps show up, and they pass on M.C. Helen Keller.
The manager says to the MC and DJ - "Man, we'll keep trying. We'll keep trying."
Ah!
One of the reps was a guy named Satan. He's a friend of an A&R rep at Continental and thinks that a mute rapper could make a shitload of money. But he keeps thinking, "that cocky manager who thinks he's the shit is a real dumbass. I could've got these assholes signed PLUS incentives."
The manager starts to hustle Satan lying that the group is being courted by labels, etc. Satan tells the manager the following:
"My name is Satan, I used to manage every major act. How about you let me into this situation, and I offer you a back-end finder's fee plus percentage?"
Manager is cocky as fuck, talks shit about how it's his act, blah, blah, blah. Satan responds:
"Look, before you parade this act around and have them blown out because you don't know how to contact the right people and do the right showcase, it's not my fault. You're only hurting yourself."
Usually, a manager will think that his act has value and is at an advantage. The manager will fuck up the situation. So let's say that Satan just says "fuck it-- manager, I'll buy you out for 30K."
The manager accepts and tells M.C. Helen Keller that Satan wants to manage them-- hypes them up to Satan, etc.
Then Satan gets on his BlackBerry and books the ballroom at Atlantis in the Bahamas. He blocks off a several suites. He tells the Atlantis that he needs everything catered from Friday thru Monday. He also makes sure to block off 1st class tickets for the time frame. "Models" I mean hookers, etc., ready too. (I don't condone any of this -- this is a hypothetical story DO NOT DO THIS EVEN IF YOU CAN.)
Satan's in the negative already. He just dumped a shitload of money. Then -- Satan starts emailing the reps/execs he knows. What do they think?
"Free vacation in the Bahamas just to check out a band? Shit!"
M.C. Helen Keller goes to the Bahamas. A TON of execs and reps show up (I wonder why-- because they're being treated like they're special, not like they're being USED by Satan to get a deal.)
In return, Satan gets a record contract for the mute rapper from one of the execs-- after a small "bidding" war ensues.
"Shit-- Satan's awesome, he had the showcase in the Bahamas-- there were hot women there, and the fucking hotel was great."
"Man, you should have seen this cat M.C. Helen Keller-- fucking awesome, and it was in the Bahamas! WTF!"
You get the idea.
Most cats in the "industry" hate being "used." Sure they want to make a buck off you, but they want to feel "special" because of the position they're afforded. Is that right? Technically NO. But wake the fuck up. What I outlined for you DOES HAPPEN. REALIZE THE COMPETITION, adjust, find an investor-- someone willing to believe in you and put the right money in a calculated attempt to sign you.
(I DO NOT CONDONE ANY OF THIS -- IF YOU HAVE QUESTIONS, HIRE A LAWYER.)