A little bit of Overthinking on my social life

[Armani]

Well if I'm gonna have to form a social circle of people around me, it either has to be formed by older people or people in the same age. now the older people is and has been my choice for a decade now. they are better in countless ways and they don't demand "Coolness", so your good traits will actually be appreciated. you most likely won't get bullied, you won't get bored because they ain't neva talkin no bullshit (like I am right now), they teach you a lot of stuff and they all know manners. on the other hand, younger people have the opposite traits of All the things I just said PLUS some more bullshit. they don't make dope beats, they steal your shit, they don't accept you in the community because idk. they don't. and since before Kindergarten, I have never really got along with anyone except 1 guy who has been my friend for... 9 years now.

the choices are clear for now, but there's one little error. Sorrow. really. everyday in my life I've only spent my days with some realll pessimistic people. even the 1 guy i told u bout. pessimistic af! I mean tell me what would be the dream of a 14 year old beatmaker? workin with drake and kanye and ice cube and humping on miley cyrus over yo own beat and that sorta shit. I mean for the 14 year old me at least. but when I joined that'd've been the best thing to say around here if I wanted to be looked at like And be an idiot. those dreams are kinda killed. and I mean ok, if that's dumb then wtf should I dream of?? a 9-5 or somethin? that's more realistic fosho. on some other community some fucking 53 year old engineer without any goal in life except just living was my best friend. what does that make me? I'd say discouraged if not suicidal.

I can also choose myself for my own company but that'd end the world or some shit. my ass be crazy. so for realz i really do not have any clue what to do. looking inside the younger community is a useless thing, because basically no one is at your level. no one has any goals, no one has any knowledge about anything except for where to get shitty weed and 12 year old pussy (for reals these are some sick fuckin people) no one is as honest and you know... enough to handle things like a man. one minute they're your friend, next they're deezing your beats up and u'll be copystriked over yo own shits! so u can never trust em with anything. they don't teach you anything either and are boring. the good ones are all either anti-social or SURROUNDED with people.and for reals I'm not gonna surround myself with these people who think saying the n-word would be the end of the fucking world and the black female LGBTQETC are the gods who've been put down on earth that insulting them should result in a fuckin electric chair. this is normalized ova there but you know what this reminds me of? Islam! exactly what they are bashing. no free speech, some names that you CANNOT offend and some simple acts that results in your death or going to jail. Fuck that. another point is that the hollywood dream thing is totally based on these dumbass policies so idek how I feel about that.

so my question is that uhhh... What the Fuck?

 

[OGBama]

I @ArvinArmani feel you but here is the thing, and not to be pessimistic but the odds of being a music producer based on the celebrity/fame mass media created scale are depressingly low, e.g. less than 1%, so if you were to get a career that allowed you to make more than what my generation called "super producers" in the late 90s to early 2000s, you'd have the financial freedom to pursue what's in your heart, it's all about time management.

I myself don't have a social circle and know and long accepted it.

 

[Fade]

next they're deezing your beats up

LOL.

But yeah I'm assuming you're looking for some sort of fame? Like @OGBama said, the chances of that are super slim. The best thing is to find something you like doing and stick with it, but over time you might get sick of that too, and that's fine. Totally normal. I remember reading a long time ago about how the average person changes careers X amount of times or whatever, and I believe that. I've had a bunch of jobs and only one of them I really enjoyed doing and I never thought of doing that as a job either.

The other thing is let's say you want to be a big famous producer. Go for it. At least try. But along the way you might get an opportunity to do something else that's related to music production. For example, it could be something like working in a store selling instruments. Or it could be you find out one day you're good at talking to people, so maybe you decide to teach what you know to others and charge them. Stuff like that. It's kind of like someone who always wanted to be a famous writer but ends up working in a book store. It's not glamorous, but at least that person is still surrounded by books all day.

 

[Memento Beats]

next they're deezing your beats up

Hahahahahahahaha I think that we have a new term for plagiarism XDDDDDDD You've just coined a new word @ArvinArmani

You mentioned very very sad thing that I've been dealing with for quite some time now. The difference between you and me is the fact that you have more time than I do and more things that you can try. But I totally understand your concerns.

I would like to refer to one of the sentences you wrote: "no one has any goals, no one has any knowledge about anything except for where to get shitty weed and 12 year old pussy (for reals these are some sick fuckin people) no one is as honest and you know... enough to handle things like a man. " I'm sorry to break it to you but life of an adult is not that much different from the situation you described. You just have more chores to do, more taxes to pay, you are fully responsible for yourself and you have much less amount of time to spend on different things.

I met little to none people who were interested in doing something different than the rest of the society. And it's very sad but the vast majority of people either don't have any goals or have very down-to-earth goals. People just want to have a quiet, peaceful life, have a job, have a loving family or someone who would support them. Very few of them dare to take a leap into the unknown and try a different path. In some way it's sad but true and I realise that it might frustrating to you as I was in the similar place when I was at your age. Of course there is nothing wrong with having let's say "average" or "down-to-earth" dreams but they aren't attractive to people who perceive the world as let's say I or you do.

Unfortunately, it may but doesn't have to put you into a position of an outcast. I remember that when I was in high school I used to get all these weird looks when I was talking about my goals or ambitions. Almost nobody took me seriously and there was a small amount of people that wanted to have something more in common with me. Majority of them only wanted me as their schoolmate from whom they could copy homework or something as I was always good at school and I didn't have to put much effort into learning. It was something easy for me. Sorry, they wanted to "deez up" my homework.

@Fade said very wise things and gave you very good pieces of advice. Go and try to make your dreams come true. I'd rather take a shot and miss rather than not shooting at all. It's just my way of developing myself in many different ways. Sad thing is that the older I get the more I realise that it doesn't matter how good you are at something. What matters are connections, meeting right people at the right time, even a place where you live sometimes matters etc. I also don't want to sound pessimistic or something but rather realistic. And realistically speaking, as @Fade and @OGBama said, there is a microscopic chance of getting famous and living the life of let's say Future or Drake. But it doesn't mean that you don't have to try and go for it. You have a plenty of time to fulfill this dream and you should use it wisely. But approach it with a cool mind and please keep in mind that there are also other things that you can do that are associated with music. KSHMR said a beautiful thing "Not everybody needs to have a big audience". There are plenty of people in the music industry that are responsible for many different things. I understand that at this point you are focused on becoming a music production superstar but it may change as you progress. I experienced it myself. At first I wanted to become a guitarist that would be playing all around the world but later on I came to conclusion that it's not really my cup of tea and I rather be someone in the background who is responsible for making music. And hence I started digging music production. Right now I'm at the point in my life when I'm questioning the sense of being/becoming a musician again. I don't know why but when I had my 25th birthday a month ago something clicked inside me. I cannot name it but I feel that something changed in my mindset and I don't know why it happened. I just started thinking about things in a different way. Looking at them more realistically and more analytically. Maybe @Fade will be able to explain to me what happened? You will become our psychologist

But as far as your friends are concerned, I have one piece of advice for you. Always keep people that you can rely on, who support you, who share a similar view on the world with you or who even love you very very close. Treat them well and also support them. I have maybe two or three real friends. People that I can rely on, people that helped me in difficult times and people that I can trust. I have many acquaintances but I can count my real friends using few fingers of my hand. If you meet or if you already met such person, keep them close because such relationships are very helpful and important.

 

[Fade]

@Memento Beats well said!

One thing I've seen over the years is either in an article or a movie when someone's older or dying or whatever and they say they have no regrets in life. What a crock of shit that is. I have a TON of regrets! I wish I could have done so many things differently because now that I'm older I look back and see all the stupid things I did or didn't do, or didn't do right. Life's not perfect but things would have been much easier for me if I had of just done a few key things in my life. Plus in high school I wish I had of smashed more but that's a separate story.

@ArvinArmani one thing to keep in mind is things you do now can and will come back to haunt you later in life. For example, if you don't bother getting good grades in high school, later in life you might want to go into a certain field, for example and electrician. You're going to need that education to even get into the program. It's things like that that can trip you up later in life even if it doesn't seem like it now.

@Memento Beats that sounds to me like some maturity. I've always looked at things realistically and with common sense. I mean, you can try to be a super duper producer but as long as you know in your head that the chance of that is next to none. That doesn't mean you're being negative, not at all, it's just common sense. There's plenty of videos and articles telling people to chase their dreams or do what you want, but rarely do they mention about the work to get there. If you want to do X thing as a career then maybe you need to work at McDonald's while you pursue X. Not many people mention that.

 

[YannFer]

I agree with many things that have been previously said.

Also, teenage is an age everybody is lost and the 2020's are even more confusing... So being confused and feeling different is all part of becoming someone.

My teenage years were in the 2000's. I was confused then but the world went real crazy since.

Whatever you chose to do or to be, stay true to who you are and keep an open mind.
And don't overthink things. Do them... Before you know it, you're married and have children.

Life flies by so damn fast. Ain't no time to plan stuff... By the time you've planned something, life has thrown so many shits your way, you're going to change plans.

 

[Armani]

See? THIS is what I never get from school kids... thanks a lot.

The main point of this wasn't to only be about fame, but to all the things that only seem exciting in my age, those things include fame. and I don't see myself as a future super duper producer like dre, I think that ain't even possible. Dre and Ye the "Legends" were just rappers and that's why everyone knows them. as a producer I'm more like the uhhh... the little nerd in the back who passes out the homework. I've always been that. (seriously when u said that homework shit I couldn't relate more Memento). that doesn't mean I don't want to be up there tho, you know? it'll be MY beats, but no one cares who makes the beats anyways, no one has EVER sayd "uhh You heard the scott storch song?" errybody just says "Clin clin clin clin docter dre go brrrrrrr. dop lit"

with rappin tho, I'm have no plans but my theory is if I ever become one, I should become lil pump, get rich, try to get independent or not, that doesn't matter a lot, but anyways, THEN I should suddenly become lyrical and teach people shit. imagine if gucci gang was educational! Billions of views and billions of lives changed and people inspired.

@Fade if the career thing is true then my view on future will totally be different. also I will wish I smashed more in highschool, but what can we do, it's Iran. the ancient lands of bluebalsa.

@Memento Beats Thanks a lot, I kinda thought it's only me or a few exceptions. it's really sad because you know, "that's life". it goes by no matter if u overthink shit and be a genius and all that or not. even if you make the earth look different after you're gone and shit, nothin really matters at the end, we're just distractin ourselves. thinking of this, it gets reasonable why people don't wanna think anymore, and makes me wish I was religious or some shit, cuz if you're not, you're fucked.

@OGBama well idk, don't you have a job? I mean that's where ur supposed to meet people and shit right? especially as a Rapper you Got to be social. that's one of the reasons I didn't consider rapping a lot.

@YannFer It's kinda confusing because we're the first teenagers in history to ever be in this speed of technology and weird shit. no guidance behind us really, sometimes even our million-years-old fundamentals can fail us nowadays. so yea, I'll try to get away from internet and live in the moment and try to stop overthinking.

I might as well stop making music for a while as it was the only thing I enjoyed and it's getting kinda overwhelming. I cannot hear songs without imagining them in the fl studio cells anymore! that shit sucks! Also the overthinking note was so true, this response would've came out 2 days ago if I wasn't overthinking.

 

[OGBama]

If @ArvinArmani you do rap don’t be like these drugged up, no feeling for anything nor anyone nihilistic (c)rappers of today’s era. Be who you are.

I have a non musical non creative career that I cannot speak on where I have to keep the fact I dig Hip Hop to myself and I’m in a city/state where there are musicians of all genres but I don’t know what they’re up to unless I do a random IG hashtag search.

 

[2GooD Productions]

I honestly think you have a pretty mature head on your shoulders, despite my piss taking, I only do it because you are man enough to not take it to heart, at least I think you are. I think making soundtrack music is your calling, you are really fucking good at it.

I became a cynical miserable old bastard because of the very things you mention. Once some of the people you really trusted shit on that trust it makes us colder and harder. Its not a good thing but that is the world. That is life, those lessons are pretty invaluable though. Being a music producer means you can keep your circle small, its no big deal. You will eventually get a small circle of people that you can trust a fair amount. You are well equipped with your sense of humour, a dark sense of humour will get you far in this life. Because without it, it would be fucking depressing. Thats why I joke a lot, otherwise Id fucking cry. Suck it up buttercup, its the rollercoaster of life with all its ups and downs. Rise above it, when you get knocked down, keep getting back up, its all we can do really.

 

[Crispifier]

Ill throw my two cents in....Find something you enjoy doing find a nice girl or guy or whatever find an ok job you dont hate being at and some people that share your interests thats about as much as most people can hope for, anything after is a bonus heheh but yeah i was a wreck at ur age , hate to break it to you but your 20s are gonna probably just be teenage years extended edition, only word of advice i have is dont drink to much or do to many drugs other than that fuck up a lot and try to learn about yourself from it