...Your chair sticks to your ass when you get up off of your seat.
...Technical support calls you for help.
...You have a popcorn machine and a direct line to your local pizza place a foot from your computer.
...When someone says "What did you say ? you reply "Scroll up "
...You have an identity crisis someone is using a screen name close to your own
...You marry your cyber friend girl friend and you both sit at your own computers & chat to each other every night from across the room
...You type messages to people while you are on the phone with them at the same time.
...You can actually read & follow all the names of the cast that scrolls up your TV screen at the end of a movie.
...You hand people an e-mail when you want to talk to them.
...Even though you finally turned off your computer in order to pay attention to some grossly neglected housework, when a neighbour rings your doorbell, you find yourself wondering who just signed on.
...Food is splashed at least three places on your keyboard and/or monitor -- you have had almost as many meals with your friends in chat rooms as you've had with your family at the dinner table.
...Cleaning also has a new meaning. It's not when you use a bucket and mop, a dustcloth or vacuum cleaner...it's when you delete your "old mail" and personal files.
...When you are having dinner with friends and need to use the restroom, you say to them, "BRB".
...You begin to go into music stores asking for "wavs" instead of CDs.
...You get sunburn from a 60 Watt light bulb.
...You get a tattoo that reads "This body best viewed with Netscape Navigator 1.1 or higher."
...You name your children Eudora, Mozillia and Dotcom.
...You spend half of the plane trip with your laptop on your lap...and your child in the overhead compartment.
...You decide to stay in college for an additional year or two, just for the free Internet access.
...Your hard drive crashes. You haven't logged in for two hours. You start to twitch. You pick up the phone and manually dial your ISP's access number. You try to hum to communicate with the modem, ...and you succeed.
...You refer to going to the bathroom as downloading.
...You start introducing yourself as "JohnDoe at AOL dot com."
...You check your mail. It says "no new messages." So you check it again.