You know you make beats too much when: (fill in the blanks)

[Phonetik]

This thread is intended for comical but true statements about making beats and the many ways it can take over your soul. hehah

I will start: you know you make beats too much when your lady kicks you out the house


you know you make beats too much when you suddenly have grown a beared unknowingly and mysteriously, your chair becomes damp from time to time

These are corny. who can think of some funny ass ones?

 

[SupaStar]

Originally posted by Phonetik
I will start: you know you make beats too much when your lady kicks you out the house

I think that qualifies as serious addiction:


I know this doesn't qualifies as funny
but me and i partner lost 57 lbs combined when he had to produce our first album -

 

[RigorMortis]

You know you make beats too much..

When sunlight hurts your eyes..
When your bladder explodes..
When your chair keeps sticking to your ass even when you stand up..
When your arms get stiff and start to swoll...
When firemen break in because your family and the whole of your neighbourhood think you died because they havent seen you for a long time.. (in case of using headphones)
When you jerk off in a hurry so you can get on with the next beat..

 

[Cold Truth]

i dunno about funny. but here goes........

..............your friends hate listening to music when your around because you are always telling them how the mastering sucks, and how you know 50 guys online with fruity loops that they got for free are 10 times better then eminem will EVER be.......

...when you find yourself naming the patch on your xp-80 that p-diddy used on (cant remember the song) and you remake the beat in 10 minutes right in front of your friend, who now hates p diddy because of it.....

. when you have no car, a tooth thats been half missing for a year and you badly need a root canal on that half tooth that hurts unbearably and you decide to get a brand new Motif Rack fr payments of $366 a month for three months.......

........... and turn around and trade it 2 months later for a TR Rack and Proteus 2000, which you turn around and sale along with yourbeloved MPC for an AMD Athlon Pc because you cant record in stereo on your korg pxr4, and you realy just want to make clean recordings in stereo.........

..when your MPC is at your friends house because he has the triton, and you are there till 4 am making a track knowing you have 3 miles to walk to get home and you have to be up at 8:30 to get to work.....

. .....and then you get to work and spend the day going online looking for and sampling drums in your korg pxr4 to take home and edit in your mpc.......

...... and then you go to your friends house and stay till 3 again and walk that 3 miles home again.......

.............. then call in to work sick so you can sleep till 5 in the afternoon and go back and do it again........

.. and yes these are all true...

 

[mono]

....u see a pornmovie at the dvdshop called "licking legends", and the first thing u think about is hiphop...

....u dont know what sounds right, only whats wrong.... hahahaha very funny aight ?

 

[Ash Holmz]

this a great thread..... becuz other non beakmakers..(ie. parents, relatives, girls) have no idea what you do and the extent that you do it to.....these are all true for me too

..when you look at your clock and have no idea whether it is 4:00pm or 4:00am or even know what day of the week it is for that matter

..when you leave a hot party where you had a hottie talking in your ear and go home becuz you "just thought of something for a new beat"

.. when u look at your cell phone and it says "you have 13 missed calls" even though it was right next to you because you have been blasting your tunes for several hours

..spend more time looking for bootleg software than looking for a job

..when you smell really really bad

..when you go to sleep with studio headphones on

..when you start dancing and jumpin around in your room because you found a hot sample

..when you turn down a sex offer from a hottie becuz your are in the middle of makin a beat

..when you can tell the diffrence betwwen an mp3 played at 128kps and 192kps.

..when your music collection makes your hornball friend's porn collection look miniscule..
..when you are a top ten poster on illmuzik.com

 

[WingsOfAnAngel]

great answers guys!

truth, you better get your tooth treated though, as it will become worse with the time.

 

[Cold Truth]

oh, yeah i had that tooth pulled in october........ i sold the motif before that!

hey holm. bein a top ten poster, i think, means that you spend WAY to much time here (winks at myself)

 

[Wattz21XX]

. when you have no car, a tooth thats been half missing for a year and you badly need a root canal on that half tooth that hurts unbearably .....

i have the same problems...
the left side of my face gets all puffy like once a year and looks like kanye's face in the "thru the wire" video...

 

[Ominous]

...when you accidentally hit the keys on your keyboard wrong and create a loop tighter than everything you have been doing for the last 10 hours...

 

[SupaStar]

yeah,..........n girls start to not seem so important anymore - you rather lock yourself away in the lab for a day than ten minutes on the phone with her <- but i think this is unhealthy and i condone it. lol

 

[Equality 7-2521]

......when you no longer need speakers or headphones to listen to beats.

 

[Shonsteez]

You know you make beats too much when - you stop caring about school and care more about producing yer album and yer other various projects.

You know you make beats too much when - Your at work checking fools out at tha register and finally when no body needs to pay for their shit you can daydream about a sick bass line pattern or better yet...write down a drum pattern on tha back of some printer tape.

You know you make beats too much when - you realized you started sitting in your chair in front of tha computer at around 12pm and now its like 4 am in tha morning and you gotta get up and go to work at 7, and tha only time you even got up was to either grab a beer or take a shit (only tha necessities)...

You know you make beats too much when - You can actually put sex on hold for over 15 minutes jus to wrap things up....(mind you this a RARITY...you gotta have time for sex in there somewhere)

You know you make beats too much when - when yer paycheck almost strictly goes to bills and then tha record store to buy more shit to sample.

I dunno if any of these are funny either - but they are real life senarios.

--Steeze

 

[Manji]

-When a cash register reminds you of an MPC

-When you here an old song, and all you wanna do is find it and sample it

-when your beats are wack, but you make them anyway

-stay up late as hail

-Tampon comercial remind you of your MPC

-A certain breakfast cereal commercial makes you think of a certain software program (c'mon, I dont have to spell it out do I?)

-You start to look @ drum pads/keyboards and othewr equipment as "sexy"

-Your MPC makes you horny because it's so sexy

-You have sex w/ your MPC

-You get the MPC pregnant, then it take you on MAURY like "you gon' take care of this baby, the baby's yours!

 

[J-malice]

when all the new shit on the radio is old to everybody else.

when a gurl takin her shirt off on tv and you payin more attention to the background music.

when you stop talkin to ppl cuz your makin beats in your head all day.

when you start thinkin about a beat in first period and 5 mins later the bell rings to go home. (thats a good thing)

when you hardly feel like rappin anymore, and it gets hard as hell to write a verse.

when you wake up and turn on the computer and the triton before you open your eyes. and when you eyes finally adjust to the light your right in front of the triton lookin at the screen.

 

[Ash Holmz]

Originally posted by J-malice


when you hardly feel like rappin anymore, and it gets hard as hell to write a verse.

.

yo tru dat!! before i started makin beats i could write i verse in like 15 min.. now it takes me forever and i get block like a bitch cuz i want it to sound too perfect

 

[Ominous]

...someone's cell phone starts ringing and you start critizing the beat production on the ring tone...

...someone worried about you and tells you sitting in front of your keyboard all night is not healthy and your spaze the phuck out on the like, "phuck you....you don't run my life...who the hell do you think you are telling me what to do." As if they just tried to perform some sort of drug or alcohol intervention.

 

[boneyboys]

...you're sitting here reading this thread at 7.40am before school. Ye gods! Need a new hobby

 

[fatsdowrong]

when your desktop is filled wuth mp3 streams from fellow producers and you wanna make a beat better than each one at 4 in tha mornin......

when you got more cds of your own shit in the car than store bought joints

when you turn on your sampler and the os says, oh you again....

when you would rather piss on yourself than get up and stop flippin trax

when you got records in the kitchen...instead of food(and your fat)lol

when elevator music sounds plot-able

when your in a restaurant wit your girl, shes eatin desert and you still aint ordered because your tryin to find out who made the song thats playin

when you defend your beats like a meat starved lion to all the cats at the open mic

when you dont have room in your crib cause your gear needs space

when your gear starts to talk to you

when you get sunburned from openin a window in the lab...

when you got this many reasons.......

peace

 

[fatsdowrong]

Originally posted by Ominous
....its 3 in the morning and the scary beat you were trying to make actually starts scarring the shit out of you and you turn your chair at an angle so you are facing the door more and can see if someone is trying to sneak up on you...

this shit here takes the cake yo!!!!!!!! LOL

WHEN YOU WANNA INVENT A MACHINE THAT CANCELLS OUT VOCAL FREQUENCIES SO THAT YOU CAN HEAR THE BEATS...

WHEN YOU WORK AROUND BROKEN PARTS ON YOUR GEAR CAUSE YOU CANT THINK OF GOIN A MONTH WITHOUT

WHEN YOU GO ON A TRIP FOR THE WEEKEND AND TAKE A PORTABLE RECORD PLAYER,WAX, A MIXER, AND YOUR SAMPLER....REAL TALK I DID THIS..MORE THAN ONCE.....I HAD LIKE 50 RECORDS WITH ME IN L.A. AND CAME BACK WITH ABOUT 200 WITH THE AC ON THE WHOLE TIME, IN THE HOTEL I ORDERED 3MORE SAFES TO LOCK UP ALL MY SHIT! AND MADE EXCUSES TO GO BACK TO THE HOTEL TO MAKE BEATS AND CHECK UP ON MY SHITZ..

WHEN YOUR ON VACATION AND YOU WANNA DIG INSTEAD OF SEEIN SHIT

WHEN YOU CARRY HAND SANITIZER BECAUSE YOU GOT DUSTY FINGERS ALL DAY

WHEN YOU SLAP PEOPLE IN THE LAB BECAUSE THEY TOUCHED YOUR GEAR
AND DIDNT APPOLOGIZE...

AIGHT THATS ENOUGH